Lost Day

- Are you sure?

- Yes, no doubt about it.

- Did you asked Alex about it ?

- Indeed, and nothing.

- How bout Diego?

- Same story.

- Don't you have classes that day?

- I talked to Mrs. Sobin and she has no record about it.

- Mhhh … don't worry, you'll remember the moment you least expect it …. You'll see.

- Sure… we'll talk later.

- Don't worry everything will be fine.

- I hope so…. Ciao.

- Bye

Maybe a note or a poem I wrote that day…

I check every notebook and loose paper I find… the desk... The counter…


Maybe in my pockets… As I go through every pair of jeans looking for an answer I get the same answer.


Dirty clothes are still scattered all around my bedroom, and the dirty dishes show that no one has eaten anything in the past few days.

I count my cigars….A Partagas, the Cohiba Diego gave me, and an old Sancho…. This only means there has been no parties and my friends have not been in the apartment lately.

The dog is lying next to his bowls which are empty and dry meaning its been a while since last I fed him.

The car is still in the same spot I usually park it so it gives me the same answer.


My mail is full, but there is no mail from that day, there are no calls placed or received in my cell phone, and I check my email and there is nothing new.

I'm tired….

There are no signs of it.

I have lost another day.



Lo supe demasiado tarde ,
mi mente vagaba sin descanso.
Callejones y calles iluminadas;
No encuentro el porque .
Mi corazon ya no pregunta mas.
Duele tu ausencia
Y ese orgullo intransigente
Que no te permite volver.
Una herida mas ,
Aniquilando sentimientos,
Enterrando palabras,
En poemas ajenos ,
Olvidando el roce de tu pie,l
Arrastrando miseria ,
Palabras acordes
A circumstancias erroneas,
Sentimientos diluidos
en abrazos fortuitos .
Sigo esperando;
Pregunta sin respuesta….
Llamaras o seguire anorando tu ausencia..


Poem without poet.

Im not a poet,
just an aching heart,
looking for some comfort
and an honest smile.
I'm not Shakespeare
neither Bukowski,
but this is my last pain
there won't be any more poems.
It's simply easier.
Quiet my crazy feelings,
kill the root of all;
I'm lost... It's dark....
Endless words
that never rhyme.
No more poems,
no more endless nites.
She took away what created this stupid verse
and crushed my stone cold heart.


Bar Memento II

- What a surprise I never thought finding you here and certainly I've been looking everywhere.

- Really? I don't believe you, I have been here and there.

- I've left you messages everywhere, enough for you to know where to go at the right time to make it seem like a casual encounter.

-Like now?

- This doesn't count it's just a dream and tomorrow I wont remember it anymore, besides I forgot my camera to take a picture and remember it the rest of my life.

- The light is very dim; your picture wouldn't come out alright.

-It's just a dream of course it would come alright. I would dream it's the perfect picture.

- Then dream that you have your camera and shoot. I promise I won't close my eyes.

- I can't, it would be better if I write it in my hand and tomorrow morning I put it on a Post-it.

- And what are you going to write?

-That I must not forget what I dreamed about.

The place is small, black walls, velvet curtains. It must be a basement. Short wooden tables with a candle in the middle, lightening everyone who's sitting around. Little instruments fixed in a giant scenario. Drums, sax, and guitar; all aligned right next to a black piano where old pianists used to play and leave a suitcase covered in stickers from the places they have been . Two more candles light up the rest of the place, everyone around are sipping a drink while they wait for the next group to finish setting up their equipment.


- This is a noir bar

-I know, I guess that's why I was able to find you here. .

- Of course

- And do you come often?

- No, you only come here when you lose someone. This bar is to accept your lost..

- So you cry and drink?

- No. Whoever comes here knows that losing someone is natural so they come here to have a good time, besides the jazz group s one of the best around.

- But why if there are a lot of people no one socializes and tries to hook up with each other

- Because thats not the purpose of the bar. You just come here to be by yourself

- So you mourn for your loss by having a good time?

- Aja.

- And how long it takes?

- Two or three songs, it all depends on how long the relation lasted. .

- How many songs it took you to forget me?

- Two.

In silence two artists go up the stage, each one takes their instruments and starts checking it for any imperfection. The cigarette vendor walks through our table, as I stop her I give her my pipe so she can fill it with the best tobacco she carries. To the beat of some jazz the vendor walks away with my hard earned money. No one sings yet it seems everybody knows the lyrics. There is no microphone yet you can listen to a singer.

-Hows your mom?

- I dreamed about her before coming, we were shopping for something.. I dont know exactly what maybe Christmas presents.

- And Daniel?

- I havent seen him in a while We met at a place like this except the walls were blue and they only served tequila and Marlboro lights we laughed a lot. See I didnt forget about it because I wrote it in my hand.

- Say hello to them when you see them again, I think of them quite often.

- Ill write it down in my arm, Ill also write to keep sending you messages.

- But make them easier to understand.

- You should know what Im talking about, we dated for over a year.

-I know what you are talking about, but Im afraid I might be mistaken.

-If you doubt then it means that you were not born to be with me.

For the third song; a fat lady starts walking towards the stage, she starts cleaning up for the next band, as she brooms from the side of the stage a guy with a cigarette in his hand walks towards the microphone, the fat lady walks away, as he sits down he throws away the butt of the cigarette and the music starts , there are no musicians or else in the place.

Midnight on a beach on the Mediterranean

and I miss you,

even here taking it all in.

The sand, silvered, carries the moon

on it's shoulders.

Is it possible to put this night to tune

and move it to you?

On the table next to us a guy with a red striped tie is keeping the beat with his foot; he discovers that Im watching and as he blinks to me he sends with the waitress a pink Post-It - For your room, so you never forget He is still drinking and keeping the beat.

- They are really good, the singer is incredible and the song is amazing.

- Yeah, it has a lot of feeling.

- Its a really good mood, everyone here is happy; it seems that instead of mourning they are celebrating something.

- In some way they are celebrating that they will be able to start all over again.

- What time they close?

- You see the TV that is in the corner?

- Yes

- When a black line starts blinking it means its time to go.

- And at what time that is going to happen.

- I dont know.

- Well then how long will it take to appear?

- I dont know either; I just know that when it happens we have to go.

- So there is no time? Minutes, hours, days?

- No; what for? Everybody knows how it works , when it blinks you just go.

Dont cry, I'll bring this home to you

If I can make this night light enough to move.

-Its been two years now.

- I know.

- Its a long time

- Indeed

- It was so fast I didnt even noticed its been two years already.

- We have been busy.

- Thats a sad answer; I cant believe what you are saying.

- It would be even worse to say something else

- Two years.

- Ajám.

- Two year s and I still love you like if we just barely hung up on the phone.

Cargo ships move by

tracing on the horizon line.

There's a luster from the city lights

on the waves that kiss our feet

and we're thinking of going in,

the time's getting thin.

-Did you see?

- What?

- The line started blinking we need to go.

- But the song is not over yet.

- We need to go, thats the rule.

- Alright. I hope this is not the last time we meet.

- I hope not, well we better say good-bye here, they must not see us leave together.

- Why?

- Because thats the rule. You come here alone and you leave the same way.

- Ok dont forget your rose.

-Thanks Im glad we met here. Somewhere else might have been impossible.

-I guess well until next time.

- Take care.

- You too and thanks.

- Why thanks?

- For letting me love you once more through you eyes.

This is a city for not sleeping

and the clocks are set by feel.

At this moment from where I sit,

none of it seems real.


Bar Memento

How different a body becomes when it stops being yours.... like a metamorphosis.... When you can't touch it anymore without a reason... when you don't know how to walk with her.... hold her hand or give her a kiss in the door...

The first impression when she walked through the bar was that she looked amazing, clearly that white suit looked wonderful on her.
- Cosmopolitan please.
- Dirty martini for me.
And a dead cold silence filled the air while the waiter walks away.
- So how you doing?
- Fine, fine , when did you came back
- Its been almost a week, but I had some things to do, thats why I didnt called before. You know?
- I know.
Our nature plays tricks on us, while we drink the first four the conversation is superficial: hows your dog, hows your mom, is it raining tonight the next drink comes with the important questions.
- So are you dating anybody?
- Please, lets not start
- Im just asking, Have you noticed that the two girls at your left havent stopped staring at you?
- Its because of you.
- They dont look lesbians.
- No, they look at me because Im with you . Kundera said it. He has said everything.
- Is that another of your theories?
- Its not mine.look, women have more interest in going out not with the cute and handsome one, but with the one who is going out with the prettiest girl.
- Is that so?
- Yes look at this two girls for example, they dont stop staring at me because they are trying to figure out what special quality do I have, that even dresse the way I am, Im sitting in such an expensive place with such an attractive woman.
- I dunno its a weird theory . Where do you get it from?
- From the endless battle in between women.
- Dont generalize
- No, but you must admit that the worst enemy of a woman is another woman.
- Again you are generalizing
- No honestly and its even a stupid battle, the woman who knows what she really needs is not even looking for love, she gives priority to those who she knows can fulfill her expectations.... with that little something.
- That is thinking like a woman without being one.
- Youre crazy. All women are crazy.
- Even your mother?
- She is the first one.
- The fact that you dont understand whats going on with us doesnt mean we are crazy.
- So whats going on with you?
- ..
- ..

- Can I offer you something else?
- Yeah , two of the same and a snack.
- A snack?
- Excuse him, could you bring the menu?
- Yes maam, just a moment please.

- They dont serve snacks here, just stuff from the menu
- Fucking place, if they are going to name it a BAR they should search in the dictionary what is the meaning of a snack, that is the problem now a days, snob teens come here to fantasize that they are going to an underground bar. Fuck even the guy in the restroom is in a smoking!!!!
- Thats a plus of yours, you always know where to go.
- Well it wasnt worth too much we are separated.

- Dirty martini for the gentleman, cosmopolitan, and here is the menu maam.
- Thank you
- Could I have a napkin please?
- Just a moment.

- This dude for sure is going to bring a cloth napkin. Who invented those?
- Dude?
- I met some guys and they stuck me this word.
- As long as they dont stick you something else.
- See.. again you are reinforcing my theory about your gender with out even pushing on it.
- I was just commenting.
- Why you dont say things like they are? Why those sentences with a secret meaning?
- Immaturity I guess?
- Maybe that is the way women act regardless their age. And I do think you are the most mature woman Ive ever met.
- Having both feet down to earth doesnt make you more mature. There are so many things Ive done wrong because of immaturity.
- That is maturity. Responsibility. Accept your decisions and stand for them.
- What if I decide wrong?
- Nothing. You accept it and resign. Even if it takes time.
- And you always follow that. You always resignate?
- They have resigned me. Its different.

- Do you want to order anything maam?
- No, thank you , please take it.
- And you sir?
- No, just another martini.
- Excuse me.

- You still cook pasta?
- Sometimes
- Sometimes to a special someone?
- Jajaja you dont miss anything. No, I discovered that I dont need to cook just for the person Im going out with. I cook more often for more friends.
- So youre not dating anybody.
- Well yes, there is someone nothing formal. She is like you, not her look, of course but the way she thinks. It could be you with glasses. And youre even following the same career.
- In the university?
- No, in life. Like you, she lives in fast forward with out ever pausing trying to get something. I dont know what.
- Its called using time in the best way possible to achieve your goals.
- What if those goals are just living your life? Have you ever thought there is nothing else in life but live ? What would happen if what you are looking for you already missed it long time ago? Maybe you are going so fast you didnt even noticed.
- So going out with someone with the same issue how do you call it ? Fall again with the same rock?
- I call it move on.
- And keep suffering.
- Its too soon to know. And yet its nothing serious; we are just friends.
- Doesnt it scare you to know that you might end up alone and hurt?
- A lot but that doesnt mean Im going to stop looking.
- Looking for your next ex-girlfriend.
- Or the love of my life whatever happens first.

- Do you want anything else, we are about to close the bar.
- Just the check please.
- Just a moment.

- I bet hell give me the check the general idea is that the man has to pay.
- I dont think so. They know me here so hell give it to me.

- The check, sir.
- Ja!
- Ill pay.
- As you wish maam.
- Thank you, we hope to see you here soon.
- Thank you.

- With the money you paid here, you could pay your childs college.
- I come here less often. You want me to drop you somewhere?
- Here, Ill walk for a while.
- Well. Well keep in touch.
- Yeah, sure. It was a pleasure seeing you again. I had a good time.
- Its been a while someone tells me that. People assumes you had a good time.
- It shouldnt be like that, people less often says what they think. They assume that the other assume what they assume.
- Thats another of your special qualities. Everyday there is less people like you.
- Fortunately
- You would be the perfect gay if it wasnt for the fact that you love women too much .
- Ja!


Emerald Eyes

I closed a chapter of this life,

In the dawn of a kiss

With the ink of your lips,

Written by those trembling hands

Those tremble whenever you are in fear.

Keeping two hearts from breaking apart.

I tossed away one dream from the bag

Full of wishes and shining stars,

Dropped from the 38th floor

And watched it crash.

Yet I dont understand why I write,

Could it be your absence?

or a way to get rid of my fears?

Yet I dont want your compassion,

But a permanent thought in your mind.

A whisper lost with the wind,

And a sunset that left open

A blank page in the forgotten book

To be written when I see myself reflected

In your emerald eyes.


Mar y mar, Noche y dia

Tapame los ojos
para no ver cuando salga el sol,
evitar la angustia de saber tu partida
cuando aquellas estrellas fugaces
dejen de brillar sin tu presencia.
Rodeado por la fria alborada
busco entre tus labios el sabor marchito
de un beso que jamas has terminado
vuelve, y abraza mi ausencia
besa la sombra de mi obscura memoria.


yesterday. ToNite, nitemare

Since I met you
Havent been the same ,
fighting to forget what once would keep me awake.
Without nothing ,
without myself.
Living in a dark place
that you ought to call loneliness.
For better or for worse,
life seems blind,
it appears to be deaf,
I wonder if it could change
if we ever see each other again.


Sueños Delicados

volví a dormir,
a soñar
con tu mirada;
pensar en tus labios,
e imaginar que me amas.
y crei
que serias
la que sacíaria
el vacio del alma
que tiñe mis días.
y al despertar
me inyecte de vida,
para evitar soñar
que tu regresarias.


Hello again
It’s me
Waking in a state of pain
Sleeping only to see
See the life that I’ve made
Closing eyes to open heart
Realizing this too will fade
This heavy wound will leave a mark
Slowly healing
No one knows the pain, the feeling
My words come out, they can’t hear what I say
Will things ever be okay?
My attitude
That shines through
Making way to a brighter day
Once black… now grey.